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Monday, January 12, 2004
Ain't Science Grand :: The VRS 3000 is state-of-the-art software which takes in factual information from the non-virgin, performs complex, rigorous calculations, and through a process called virgination, finds the algorithm needed to restore your virginity. Hard to believe? It's true! The Society for the Recapture of Virginity What'll they think of next? Prepuce restoration? Yep. Foreskin replacement. Uncircumscision Not recent science, though. Dating from antiquity: "The prepuce is to be raised from the underlying penis around the circumference of the glans by means of a scapel. This is not very painful, or once margin has been freed it can be stripped up by hand as far back as the pubes, nor in so doing is there any bleeding. The prepuce thus freed is again stretched forward beyond the glans; next cold water applications are freely used, and a plaster is applied around to repress severe inflammation. And for the following days the patient is to fast until nearly overcome by hunder lest satiety excite that part. When the inflammation has ceased the penis should be bandaged from the pubes to the corona; over the glans the plaster is applied with the other end of the probe. This is done in order that the proximal part may aglutinate whilst the distal part heals without adhering." De Medicina by Celsus Ouch.
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